Tuesday, February 3, 2015

She May Not be Evil But…


So I went to the nutritionist today. She said how pleased she was with my progress. I have lost two more pounds and that made her very happy. Near the end of our visit she asks, “So how are you doing drinking the two twenty ounce bottles of water? “OK,” I say, “I manage to drink it all most days.” “Good,” she says casually, “Let’s try adding another bottle.” I look into her smiling face. She is not joking. Don’t panic! Negotiate! I smile reasonably and say, “Sixty ounces is a lot of water; could some of it be flavored with coffee grounds?” “Oh no!” she says sincerely, “Your water shouldn't be favored but you can add flavorings to your water.” Is that a psychotic gleam in her eyes? How did I miss it? This woman is nuts. “I think you are trying to drown me.” I say seriously. She laughs gaily as we head down the hall.
Yes my nutritionist is out to get me! One day I will be one of the acolytes in her weird little cult. Walking around with my snazzy water bottle saying things like, “Oh but coffee dehydrates your body!” I will wander around trying to convert poor sane people to the joys of drink only water. My friends you will be my only hope. You must save me! Yes the only thing to do will be to have an intervention with really good coffee and lots of donuts! Please I am relying on you…..

5 comments:

  1. Nope, I don't think that will ever actually happen. ;). -B

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  2. I can't actually imagine you needing that particular intervention!

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  3. Here's an idea-- get your water, heat it, flavor it with instant coffee. No coffee grounds involved!

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